Atonement [at-one-with]

Moments of serenity come to me at odd times. Yet, odd is not the right word to describe such moments of balance and contentment. Do I belive in happiness? Sometimes. But I believe in just that; contentment. Nothing is perfect, but it is in these moments that it makes an appearance.
I'm sitting in his driveway, waiting for his exit out the front door. I haven't seen him in months. His presence brings out the best in me, and there is no topping that feeling. Sometimes songs can do the same, often times songs I don't even like. Snow Patrol - chocolate, Christine Evans - Take me Home, Augustana - Found My place... But today, it was the mix of his face and Coldplay - Yellow.

The moment arrives; here, I am me. In this place, I am complete. Reminiscence of certain points in my life where I attain this peace. Spring time, rainy days, night time... time with good friends... reading Harry Potter, listening to the Lord of The Rings soundtrack... My nerdiness impresses me. My heart rate slows, and I close my eyes to relax in this moment. Relax, why is it so easy to do now and so difficult to accomplish when I want or need to? The moment hits its Peak. I think, if I were to suddenly die, I would have no regrets and would forever be at peace (Lamb - Gorecki). Today, it is simple. I know the secrets to life and it joyfully overwhelms me.
Relax. Rest. Be calm. Be at peace....

The moment fades away, but I am still here. I have made a memory.
I will keep this moment forever.

Alone in the Universe

Two lovers cross on a line. When do they cease to be one? Are we always meant to be? Questions unrelated, but connected in my mind. Take one step to the left; maybe you would be killed in the stead of another. Would that impact the world? Could you save millions of people by dying? Would you become a tyrant instead? My mind wonders, sends signals, connects the concepts.
Now I see him. And him. And yet another him. I wonder if I were not who I am, who would I be?
I believe in fate.
I believe in the world's ending.
I trust in circles.
I am taken away from this place as an individual. I am far from home, left in space. But I still feel. I am weightless, and I can see my life before me. It is dark and meaningless. Or is it bright and happy? What I choose to see is my reality.
But then he appears in front of me. Do I acknowledge? Do I know him, and does he know me? Now I feel pain and worry. And I float on. I circle the globe, I move on to the universe. Here I am, I am here. Somewhere in my own being, I am still alive and can never die. But it doesn't matter where I go, I keep running into somebody.
Do they know who they are?
I move away to another place. Am I looking for something? Will that something find me? Contemplation is my life now. I have all the time in the universe. So I move on.
Learning to be satisfied is hard to do; but I will continue to try. Must I settle for satisfaction? Will it find me? I find that the question is nill, and the answer is neither. We meet eachother at the corner of the Universe. After all the places I've been, after all the places he's been, we are here together.
As individuals.
Can you call it love? Can you call it ceasing to exist?
I say neither.
Against all odds, we meet. We love, and we live.

I'm slowly returning... and so unoriginal/uninspired

elyse -- [noun]: A master of storytelling

One Year

One year ago today, Basis for ill fame was created.
Matt thought it was Basil for ill fame, which would have worked too.
Hmm. What a year it's been.

Do you feel it too?

Ode to a friend that never was. To everything that is, to everything we have.
I'll look back and admire what was there and what was forgotten.
And whatever it was, it was.
And anytime I drink tea, I'll think of you.
Everytime I see a picture of a pickle, I'll remember your smile.
And everytime I take a picture, it'll be you in the flash of the camera.
Everything.
Everytime.
I'll think of you.

To the world that never was

We, as people, numb ourselves to the world.
All that is required is a change in attitude, a simple pill that will provide us with our quick fix.
It is a vicious cycle we throw ourselves into daily.
Because after the numbing wears off, who are we but human beings?
We pop another pill.

Water, drips.

I awaken and see the truth.

Thee, to the things that I cannot remember

chair.
blood.
gaping holes.
pregnancy?
cold.
Random words that went through my head. I felt like i had been asleep for hours. I come to, and I see faces. Faces vaguely recalled. Where is his? oh, i see his shape. How it it that I came to be here-on the ground. I am on the ground. My body abandoned me for hours. No. minutes. It closed itself off from the rest of me. And now I am on the ground. I am carpet. Do not disturb me.
The blood left my body, into the carpet and away. My spirit is in the floor.
I am carpet. I am calm. I was breathing...

The last thing I remember, was white cold.

You Are Unique

Little rabbit, the trap is set. Don't go running off. Your path is laid there before you. No one else will have this chance. No one else will have this exact moment or opportunity to breathe, to live. It is yours for the taking. Little rabbit, when the time is right you will leave this world. When the time runs thin, you will leap into oblivion. You take a risk, for the better. This life is limited. Your life is limited.
Breathe.
And cease the day.